he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
