The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
