part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize