and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
