ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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