So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
