woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry about my life...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
