Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
