so explain again why im purple
no
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
