I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
