Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pants are for mortals
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
