you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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