We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize