Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
