My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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