your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
