There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
