their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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