we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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