I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
