I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
