dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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