i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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