idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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