Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
