Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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