What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
