So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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