i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
