i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
