were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
