1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
