I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
