using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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