I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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