she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize