he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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