She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
