i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
