I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
