I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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