I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it hurts more in the daytime
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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