Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
