I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize