Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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