don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
