We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
