is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
