Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
