Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
third nipple confirmed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
