I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
