remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
