There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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