Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
