your parents love me but you hate me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
