he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
