come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize