i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
