Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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