sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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