just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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