I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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