I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Found your dick twin last night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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