love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
