I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
