yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
