No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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