It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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