Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
