Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
