Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
