It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The best revenge is premature balding
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
