it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
