His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
third nipple confirmed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
