Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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