tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
