Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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