So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
