I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you never un-have a 4some
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
